Bonus Translation Exercise 1
Moves at major catwalk shows to stem the use of underweight models suggest the tide may be turning.
The debate kicked off when Madrid fashion week decided, in response to local government pressure, to ban models with a body mass index (BMI) of less than 18.
posted by wonderwan @ 7:32 AM
5 Comments:
My comments for your translation:
1.Noun1.catwalk - narrow platform; "models displayed clothes on a catwalk at the fashion show" “catwalk show”意為時裝秀或時裝表演。
2.“趨勢”並非原文中”moves”的適當翻譯；宜譯為”作為、措施、禁令等”。有時，也可刻意避開不翻。
3.“kick off”意指”開始、啟動等”。
4.“,in response to local government pressure,”係用以進一步修飾〈說明〉前句 – “Madrid fashion week decided,”；時裝週主辦單位受到地方政府的壓力，所以決定……
5.原文中，並無「社會上的反應……」之語意。
6.應加強閱讀能力，尤以文法。
The source text:
Moves at major catwalk shows to stem the use of underweight models suggest the tide may be turning.
The debate kicked off when Madrid fashion week decided, in response to local government pressure, to ban models with a body mass index (BMI) of less than 18.
A reference translation:
過瘦模特兒不得在大型時裝秀擔綱的禁令顯示，潮流可能在變了！
由於地方政府施壓，馬德里時裝週主辦單位決定：禁止體型指標 BMI 在十八以下的模特兒參加演出；此一決定引發議論。
F4A 1092301010 Jamie Lee
在主流的時裝秀，以禁止過瘦模特兒走秀的趨勢看出潮流可能改變了。
由於地方政府的施壓，時裝秀單位在馬德里時尚週決議禁止ＢＭＩ值低於１８以下的模特兒演出。
To Jammie:
Moves at major catwalk shows to stem the use of underweight models suggest the tide may be turning.
The debate kicked off when Madrid fashion week decided, in response to local government pressure, to ban models with a body mass index (BMI) of less than 18.
1. "以"似乎是贅字
2. 從主要時裝秀禁止.......可看出，潮流可能在改變了！（原文為進行式表即將發生的未來）
3. 未譯出"The debate kicked off"
This bonus exercise is closed. Please do not post any translation anymore.
To Tina:
Moves at major catwalk shows to stem the use of underweight models suggest the tide may be turning.
The debate kicked off when Madrid fashion week decided, in response to local government pressure, to ban models with a body mass index (BMI) of less than 18.
My comments on your translation:
1. "在主要時裝秀上，禁止體重過低模特兒走秀的禁令顯示，......（宜譯出moves）（suggest在此不宜譯為暗示）
2. 亦可譯為：潮流可能在變了，骨瘦如柴的模特兒，不再能是伸展台上的最愛。（此為傳意翻譯 Communicative Translation Method）
3. 在地方政府的施壓下，馬德里時尚週主辦單位，決定禁止體型指數(BMI)低於18的模特兒走秀，此一決定引發時尚界的辯論。（原譯文已能表達原文語意，然似顯冗贅，且邏輯性欠佳）（"使用"二字不宜用以形容模特兒）
Post a Comment
<< Home